As a mother, I reflect deeply on the profound connection that defines the relationship between a parent and child. This bond begins with the physical and emotional journey of pregnancy, a nine-month period during which I nurtured my daughter Kali, our heartbeats aligning in a shared rhythm of life. Kali, in turn, carried her son Zeke with the same dedication, her hands a constant presence over her growing belly, envisioning the life they would build together. Later, she embraced the same protective love for Freya, her unborn daughter, whose future she held with unwavering hope.
The loss of this bond on December 1, 2023, due to a tragic act of violence, remains an indelible wound. Kali, my resilient daughter, was taken alongside Zeke, her 10-month-old son whose bright potential was just beginning to emerge, and Freya, the child she carried with such anticipation. The grief that followed was overwhelming, a testament to the depth of our familial ties.
This experience prompts a critical question: what becomes of a mother’s love when death intervenes? Far from fading, this love transforms, embedding itself into the fabric of memory and spirit. It manifests in the quiet recognition of a child’s laughter reminiscent of Zeke, or the poignant imagining of Freya’s unwritten chapters. For me, as a mother who has lost a daughter and grandchildren, this love evolves into a persistent grief — a steady, unyielding force that challenges daily resilience. It surfaces as a silent cry in the night, a mother’s anguished inquiry into the reasons behind such loss: Why my daughter? Why her son, still so new to the world? Why was her unborn child denied the chance to thrive? This grief shapes every milestone, casting a reflective shadow over what might have been — Kali guiding Zeke’s early steps toward a sister he would never meet.
As Kali’s mother, I find this bond most palpable in the stillness of early mornings or the calm of evening — a resolute warmth that affirms our connection endures beyond death. It emerges in unexpected memories, softening the edges of sorrow into a manageable strength. This love echoes in every tear shed, in each deliberate step forward: the first moment of joy reclaimed, the garden planted in their honor, each act a reaffirmation of a mother’s resolve to persevere, forever linked to those I’ve lost.
The unfulfilled promise of Freya and Zeke adds a layer of complexity to this bond. They were to be siblings nurtured by Kali’s steadfast love, a force that would have taught them to explore nature’s wonders — chasing fireflies at dusk, listening to the river’s flow, and growing strong in the Idaho mountains. Zeke, with his initial steps, would have led with curiosity, while Freya was destined to thrive alongside him, her feet grounding into the earth, learning the beauty of autumn aspens and snow-capped peaks. Kali envisioned them as companions on mountain trails, their laughter blending with the wind, building forts from branches and dreams — a vision tragically unfulfilled, now a cherished memory of potential lost.
At Kalico Forest, this enduring love springs to life through purposeful action — rooted in the Idaho mountains Kali so cherished, and grounded in the Wisconsin heartland where she blossomed into her true, unyielding self. This sanctuary serves as a haven where mothers and children can rebuild in safety, mirroring the security she sought. Silver Roots offers trauma-informed support, providing a network for mothers navigating hardship. Zeke’s Light creates play areas for children, echoing his vibrant spirit with open spaces and streams. Freya’s Bloom supports prenatal care and birthing programs, ensuring no future is forsaken. Through resilience workshops, community gatherings, and trails marked with memorials, Kalico Forest transforms personal loss into a collective strength, inviting all to find solace and purpose.
Kalico Forest stands as a testament to this unbreakable bond — for Kali, Zeke, Freya, and every mother and child seeking refuge. It is a place of resilient healing, where dreams are nurtured with courage. If you share this deep connection or carry a similar loss, I invite you to join us on this journey. Love like ours transcends boundaries, fostering healing and guiding us forward.